He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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