Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
