I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
