yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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