Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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