she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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