After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
