I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
