I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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