mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize