Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
