Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
this hospital has no fireball
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
