Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
