my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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