I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
