Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
