I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
