I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Terrible idea I love it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
