Will you blow on my dice?
That's intense
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
