It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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