he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm too high and old for this...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
