oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize