fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i've created a new STD.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
