Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
