Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you high?

  (510): View more from California

  No. That's why it's odd

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  (510): I think I speak chipmunk. Odd. (702): Are you high? (510): No. That's why it's odd http://tfl.nu/ybok
  Replies (5) Good night (2398) Bad night (782)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?

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  (919): Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/378f
  Replies (18) Good night (2285) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.

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  (973): Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California. http://tfl.nu/4mjs
  Replies (43) Good night (1251) Bad night (2915)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??

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  (970): She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care?? http://tfl.nu/ucqp
  Replies (47) Good night (2176) Bad night (3507)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.

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  (630): just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now. http://tfl.nu/m10w
  Replies (29) Good night (8054) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea

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  (517): drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea http://tfl.nu/z8sz
  Replies (29) Good night (3823) Bad night (1893)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?

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  (734): Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life? http://tfl.nu/8b6j
  Replies (20) Good night (4442) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

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  (850): I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before. http://tfl.nu/vbyg
  Replies (16) Good night (5350) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.

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  (734): He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon. http://tfl.nu/88sk
  Replies (12) Good night (1657) Bad night (3799)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Actually, she's fat now, so...

  (817): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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  (817): He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but... (1-817): Actually, she's fat now, so... (817): Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson. http://tfl.nu/7993
  Replies (27) Good night (2091) Bad night (5261)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation

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  (303): I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation http://tfl.nu/r6lh
  Replies (1) Good night (1068) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.

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  (210): It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs. http://tfl.nu/dihg
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.

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  (901): The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand. http://tfl.nu/pvju
  Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG

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  (847): WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG http://tfl.nu/q2ba
  Replies (10) Good night (347) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked

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  (586): yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked http://tfl.nu/ko03
  Replies (1) Good night (260) Bad night (900)

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