Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2780) Bad night (981)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version

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  (512): they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version http://tfl.nu/ectn
  Replies (32) Good night (2270) Bad night (4588)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.

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  (412): I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point. http://tfl.nu/b3t9
  Replies (12) Good night (4237) Bad night (922)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger

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  (561): hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger http://tfl.nu/hhlu
  Replies (18) Good night (3696) Bad night (1057)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

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  (413): he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive http://tfl.nu/jlaw
  Replies (13) Good night (1924) Bad night (3758)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.

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  (901): He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor. http://tfl.nu/qeri
  Replies (20) Good night (940) Bad night (4236)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.

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  (215): I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me. http://tfl.nu/0b6p
  Replies (6) Good night (3266) Bad night (1169)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.

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  (903): best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them. http://tfl.nu/kc67
  Replies (4) Good night (1531) Bad night (580)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.

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  (607): Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair. http://tfl.nu/k6ce
  Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (922)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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  (443): Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order http://tfl.nu/s460
  Replies (4) Good night (1161) Bad night (562)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.

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  (608): We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me. http://tfl.nu/8edb
  Replies (4) Good night (1262) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Whats your number? 5 or more?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.

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  (512): Whats your number? 5 or more? (973): Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/b76i
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (679)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.

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  (312): If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/vx4i
  Replies (4) Good night (1084) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN

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  (574): I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/b0a5
  Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (270)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.

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  (208): One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody. http://tfl.nu/x1xc
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (237)

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