You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
