Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.