Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers." http://tfl.nu/vnij
  Replies (40) Good night (5519) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  What is a GED?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly (1-208): What is a GED? http://tfl.nu/qgi3
  Replies (47) Good night (1023) Bad night (9936)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think. http://tfl.nu/r53a
  Replies (7) Good night (1238) Bad night (2776)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools http://tfl.nu/2rog
  Replies (2) Good night (3290) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis http://tfl.nu/prx7
  Replies (5) Good night (924) Bad night (2774)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning. http://tfl.nu/ffy0
  Replies (4) Good night (3702) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case

  (573): View more from Missouri

  WTF.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case (573): WTF. http://tfl.nu/t6hg
  Replies (6) Good night (1514) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire. http://tfl.nu/4291
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night. http://tfl.nu/mfpz
  Replies (4) Good night (2565) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap http://tfl.nu/gn8d
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting http://tfl.nu/ouax
  Replies (9) Good night (1029) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me. http://tfl.nu/e2b3
  Replies (4) Good night (1027) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help. http://tfl.nu/9s63
  Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef. http://tfl.nu/ln6b
  Replies (2) Good night (300) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night http://tfl.nu/7syr
  Replies (3) Good night (1152) Bad night (198)

Randomize