He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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