The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out