I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"