Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.

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(602): but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please. http://tfl.nu/sk7q

Replies (14) Good night (796) Bad night (2359)
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(614): View more from Ohio

she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny

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(614): she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny http://tfl.nu/4cwi

Replies (12) Good night (2952) Bad night (595)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

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(678): I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI. http://tfl.nu/868g

Replies (27) Good night (7296) Bad night (1358)
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(361): View more from Texas

Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed

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(361): Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed http://tfl.nu/nwxf

Replies (15) Good night (4107) Bad night (902)
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(309): View more from Illinois

it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...

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(309): it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with... http://tfl.nu/q2va

Replies (23) Good night (6136) Bad night (1146)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once

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(651): i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once http://tfl.nu/7d16

Replies (14) Good night (4183) Bad night (1825)
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(858): View more from California

Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

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(858): Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch http://tfl.nu/zban

Replies (28) Good night (8706) Bad night (1287)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.

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(732): she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it. http://tfl.nu/tlpk

Replies (9) Good night (3726) Bad night (773)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend

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(608): Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend http://tfl.nu/d6xp

Replies (5) Good night (4353) Bad night (990)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas

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(832): The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas http://tfl.nu/fiou

Replies (8) Good night (2079) Bad night (695)
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(517): View more from Michigan

at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.

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(517): at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees. http://tfl.nu/qho2

Replies (10) Good night (2958) Bad night (750)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

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(816): I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring http://tfl.nu/n1of

Replies (2) Good night (2050) Bad night (603)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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(401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a

Replies (1) Good night (1144) Bad night (1138)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad

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(978): Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad http://tfl.nu/i4wh

Replies (4) Good night (238) Bad night (650)
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(410): View more from Maryland

We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.

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(410): We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again. http://tfl.nu/b5s0

Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (165)

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