They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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