yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
