You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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