I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize