look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
