I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
