My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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