Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
