I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it's like iHOP with fire
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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