no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
