Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
