So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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