Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
