Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
