Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
