why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
