Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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