If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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