I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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