____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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