this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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