He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
