Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
