yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
