you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
