I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
