I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My feet surprised me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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