i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
