Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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