So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
