My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
