Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
