THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize