I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
